Tag: challenges

Motherhood

A Handful of Quietness

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By:  Betty Predmoreimage.png

I read somewhere today…”taking care of yourself is the first step in taking care of your children.” Boy, does that make sense! How often do we neglect our own needs for the sake of our families? I don’t know about you, but I am always quick to put my own well-being on the back burner for the sake of my kiddos. That’s what a good mom does, right?

We all….yes, even us mamas, need to find time to rest, renew , and refresh our bodies and our souls. Ecclesiastes 4:6 tells us, Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. That tells me that even a little bit of rest is good. All the toil that goes into our days, all the striving to be a good mama, can zap us, but just a hand full of sitting in His presence can renew our souls.

I don’t know about you, but when I get tired and weary, I get discouraged. The devil wants nothing more than to rob me of the joys of motherhood through discouragement and doubt. Psalm37:4 reminds me, Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. When I take time to rest in Him, to take joy in His presence, He fulfills the desires of my heart. And Mamas, isn’t our greatest desire to be a good mother, a good example of Christ, to our children?

Some days are too long. Other days are too short. Whatever day you are in today, I pray that you take a moment for yourself. Grab that hand full of quietness that you need and deserve. Let the Lord restore your soul and refresh your mind. Allow Him to work in you so that you can be the mama that your heart desires to be. He is here to walk this walk with us so we never have to feel alone, to guide us when we are lost and strengthen us when we feel weak. Oh, what a wonderful Savior we have! And because of Him and his love for us, what wonderful mothers we can be!

Motherhood

Memory Walk

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By:  Betty Predmore

I experienced something new today….something that touched my heart is a special way. I participated in a memory walk for babies who died in pregnancy or infancy. I was there with my niece and nephew, who lost their baby in May at an early stage in their pregnancy. Oh, how happy we were when we heard the pregnancy news! I literally jumped up and down and screamed, then held my niece tight as we cried together. I knew how long and hard she had tried and waited for this baby.

But the birth of this baby was not to be. God had other plans. The sorrow has been tremendous, but we are all comforted in knowing that little angel is in heaven, with some other special members of our family we have lost this year.

So today was in memory of that precious little one that we didn’t get to meet, that tiny hand we didn’t get to hold, that soft face we didn’t get to kiss. I was amazed at the amount of people in attendance today. I was shocked at how many were there walking not just for one baby….but two, three, four, even five. To see those babies names on the wall of memory and to hear each one called out loud was a sobering experience that brought me to tears. As I looked around, I saw many of those families with new little ones or toddlers, and I am sure these new children have brought hope back into their hearts. But what about the ones who have yet to have a child? Are they feeling hopeless in these moments?

I am so grateful that my niece and nephew, and all our family, can put our hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am so glad we can find strength for tomorrow and the promises each new day brings, knowing God has something awesome planned for our family. Thank you, Jesus, that you hold us in the palm of your hand.

So as this day winds down, I pray for my beautiful niece and nephew. I pray the Lord continues to give them strength, hope, faith, and perseverance. I pray they continue to remember this precious life gone too soon, yet are able to enjoy the glorious days of parenthood with other special children meant just for them. I pray that as the days, months, and years pass, that we never forget this special little one who brought our family so much joy, even if it was for such a short time.

 

Motherhood

One Lucky Mama

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By: Betty Predmore
It’s been a crazy week. Busy schedules, meetings, out of town trips….all lead up to consumption of my time and fewer moments spent talking with my kiddos. While I love the place God has me in ministry, and the opportunities He is giving my husband and I in our careers, I sometimes long for the simpler days, when I worked from home and our schedules were not so overwhelming. Life tells us to go, go, go….but sometimes we just need to STOP!

The Lord allowed me some precious time talking with my teenage son tonight. We talked of normal things….school, friends, curfew. He told me about a friend at school that lost a family member to cancer today. He told me how upset this young boy was. We talked about how hard it is to lose someone. We also talked about how much he misses his Grandaddy….has it really been almost two months since he passed? We agreed that we both hate cancer. I know we are not supposed to hate, but that disease is terrible, and it causes so much pain for the people who suffer from it and the people who suffer alongside them.

I look at this boy and I marvel at the fact that God chose me to be his second mama. Ever since the day he walked to our house, just six years and one day old, he has been a blessing. I often ask God just what I did that allowed me to deserve such an honor. He whispers back to me…”You were willing.” Thank you Lord that you know my heart so well, and that you knew I was willing to open it up to this beautiful boy, his brother, and his sister. Thank you for trusting me with their little hearts, and for allowing me the opportunity to lead their souls to you.

And in the busyness of life as I know it, thank you for some sweet moments to remind me of just how special this boy is and what a lucky mama I am!

 

 

Motherhood

Walking Away

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By:  Betty Predmore

We said goodbye on the steps of the Student Union building. I stood there with my precious daughter in my arms, savoring every last second. It seemed like a mere minute ago that she was the tiny bundle of joy that made my heart want to burst with love. How strange it seems to think that it has been over 18 years since I held that precious newborn, as her little fingers wrapped around my hair.

I knew this day was coming. I have been so proud of her….her intelligence, her devotion to her family, her compassion for her fellow man. What a special girl she is. My heart has always wanted her to live out her dreams, be her own unique self, and experience life to the fullest. But as I faced that moment of letting go, I wanted to grab her and run. If only I could run back to a yesterday when she was a toddler chasing after her siblings, or a little girl performing dances for her family. How sweet those years were and how quickly they have passed.

Of course, I couldn’t run back in time. I was left to do what countless mothers before me have done, what I have done with my older children, and what she will do one day in the future with her own children. I was left to stand there as my baby girl walked away. She didn’t look back. Was it because she didn’t want to see my tears? Or because she didn’t want me to see hers? I watched that long, wild hair bouncing as she took step after step towards independence. I watched until there was only one thing left to do….so I turned and walked away. And as I walked, I did the only thing I knew to do….I prayed. I prayed that God would soothe my mama heart. I prayed that my tears would cease. I prayed that my precious girl would make good choices, good friends, and sweet memories. And I prayed that my Father in heaven, whom I trust with ALL that I have, would protect her from the evils that I know this life can bring.

The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. (Psalm 121:7-8)

 

Motherhood

When Are You Having Kids?

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By:  Alison Rodriguez

That question. Oh, THAT question.

It used to make my blood boil when someone asked me that question.

So many times, my mind screamed:

None of your business!
I’m trying!
I wish I knew!

Instead, the polite person in me – well, really, the person who did not want to face the fact that something was wrong – would often reply:

Oh, I’d like to finish my master’s degree first.
Maybe in a couple more years.

Except one time. Someone at work caught me on a bad day. A lady from another department whom I don’t know very well asked the forbidden question. No made up excuse this time. She got Ally’s famous evil eyes, and, “I actually can’t have kids.” In that moment, I found great joy in the shocked look on her face and her fumbled attempt at a response. All I could think was that’s what you get for asking a personal question to someone with whom you don’t have a personal relationship.

For so long, I used school as an excuse. And then when I finished, I used my husband going to school as an excuse. Excuses are lies you tell others hoping you’ll begin to believe them yourself. Truth be told, I dreamt of holding my baby boy or girl on graduation day wearing my master’s cap, gown, and hood. Now, I dream of having our little one sit on my lap at my husband’s graduation as he receives his master’s hood.

I know that most people have only good intentions when asking this question, but it carries so many assumptions and connotations.

When are you having kids?

…assumes someone wants kids.
…assumes someone can physically have kids.
…assumes that conceiving is the only way to grow a family.

To those trying to conceive, this question strikes a painful chord deep within their soul. It is a reminder that they are not pregnant. It is a reminder that something is wrong with them. It is a reminder that this little person who has mommy’s eyes and daddy’s smile still isn’t here yet and may never be.

This blood-boiling question and my long-time response to it made me realize one very important thing. The condition of your heart determines the character of your response. My heart was bitter so my response was bitter. I created bogus excuses to comfort myself and so easily told them to others.

 

 

Now, when asked this question, I’m truthful. I no longer feel shame in sharing our journey, because I know God has me in this season for a reason. Instead of being a source of heartache, this question has become an opportunity to share what the Lord has done in our lives and hearts. No more bogus excuses. I now share that I have a little angel baby watching over me. I now say that we are halfway through the process of adopting a little one from the foster care system.

When are you having kids?

Does it still strike a painful chord? Yes.
Do I still want to yell, “none of your business!” Sometimes.

But I’m so thankful that those moments are now few and far between. I’m thankful that God did not leave my side for one moment while I worked on changing my heart.

One thing I ask of you: Can we change this question? Can we be mindful of who we ask it to? You never know who is struggling with infertility, and what this question represents in their life. 

Let’s change this from “having kids” to “growing families”. So many families are grown through fostering, adoption, and surrogacy. And some families remain as duos with pets. Let’s refrain from asking this question to people with whom we don’t share a personal relationship. Asking coworkers and acquaintances might not go over so well.

And one last request. Take a moment to evaluate the condition of your heart. Most times, the first thing that needs to change in your circumstance is your heart’s response to it.

With love,
Ally Rod

Motherhood

A Mama’s Challenge

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By:  Betty Predmore

I am reading in Psalm this morning, and I come across a passage that spoke to my heart. Psalm 22:30-31 says Our children will also serve him. Future generations will hear about the wonders of the Lord. His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born. They will hear about everything he has done.

Wow! Do you know what that means? It means that I, “mama” to my kiddos, have a lot of responsibility! God is amazing and wondrous, He is capable of all things, and He has done so many amazing, wondrous acts of love on our behalf. He also has set forth serious guidelines for our lives, and consequences when we don’t follow them. How do we take all we know about our marvelous God and make sure we don’t skim over anything when sharing with our children? How do we possibly convey the greatness and majesty of our King without missing some aspect? How do we send the message of His love in its completeness?

This challenges me to dig even further into His word. This prods me to plead the Holy Spirit even deeper into my soul. This inspires me to bring His word to life for my kids, and make it something real, fun, and extremely important in their lives. I want my kids to hear about everything He has done. It is my desire that they know the wonders of the Lord. It is my desperate hope that they serve Him.

Mamas, we must do our part. We have to teach our children about Jesus…in word and in action. We have to share of His wonders and words. We need to explain the creation of our world, and unravel the parable of Jesus. We must define the crucifixion and the resurrection. The love and compassion found in the Word should be evident in our lives. The fruits of the spirit should flow through us. We are to be walking testimonies of His great mercy. Doing this…all of this…will teach our children just how great God is, and just how wonderful it is to serve Him.

Are you up for the challenge today?

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Motherhood

Bend, Don’t Break

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By: Betty Predmore

Motherhood is an incredible journey. There are so many emotions we experience as mothers, so many opportunities to grow. From the moment they are born, our children hold a precious place in our hearts. We want only the best for them, and we do all we can to make life wonderful for our little darlings.

Motherhood brings so many happy moments, filled with love, laughter, secret whispers, and butterfly kisses. It brings special bonds that nothing in life can break apart, and a sense of unity and security. I wish our minds had the capacity to clearly remember every moment of laughter and joy that comes from being a mother. I wish I could conjure up in a moment every time I felt that sense of fulfillment that my children bring me. But the moments are too many to corral into a thought or a memory. They are as numerous as the stars, and I consider myself to be a very lucky mama.

Amongst all that joy and laughter has also been some pain. No matter how hard we try, our children are left to experience the tough stuff. Childhood illness, death, bullying, mental illness, fear, abandonment, broken homes… and the list continues. If only we could protect their hearts from all pain! But the reality is that life is life, and part of life is struggle and hardship. If we are honest, we know that we tend to grow, change, and learn the most through our moments of trial. It is through those hard times we realize that God really does walk with us, never leaving our side. Of course, we want our children to have that realization, that sense of security.

As mothers, our prayer should be that through it all, the rain, the sunshine, and the cloudy days, that we have grounded our children in their faith and gave them a knowledge of someone who is far greater than any of us, and who is far more capable of easing their hurts and troubles. Have you pointed your child to Jesus? Have you hit your knees time and time again on their behalf?

Life is sometimes difficult. Motherhood is often challenging. Many times we experience pain and concern for our children, and sometimes a fear that is almost crippling. As strong women of God, as mothers of His precious children, we will not let those moments define us. When the tough times come, we do not break….we bend. We bend our knees, we call on our Father, and we intercede for our sweet precious babies. Oh, what a mighty power we have because of Jesus! Oh, what a glorious difference we can make in the lives of our children! Oh, what a precious gift it is to be a mama!