Tag: Patience

Motherhood

Loving the Mess Maker

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By:  Betty Predmore

My frustration is at its limit and I am nearing the end of my patience! Why, oh why, can’t this girl do what I ask her to do?

I have spent my entire weekend trying to get my youngest to clean her room. She has spent hours in there without fully accomplishing the task. Once I went in and found her playing jacks in the floor. Another time, she snuck into her brothers’ room to play. When we went to bed on Saturday night, it was getting close to clean, but by Sunday afternoon, it was a mess again. Now, as I go in to wake her up for school, clothes are everywhere and things I just washed are lying in the floor. Not a good way to start our Monday morning.

As I vent my frustrations to my husband, he gently reminds me of the problems this sweet girl carries through her life. She is a victim of a pretty serious case of attention deficit due to her birth mother’s bad habits. She comes from a background of abandonment. So while it is easy for me to look only at her flaws on this difficult Monday morning, I must have compassion and remember why she is the way she is, and all the reasons why I love her.

Isn’t that what God does for us? He looks past those issues and personality traits that make us difficult, and He concentrates on why He loves us. He forgives us of so much more than clothes on the floor or messy rooms. He has compassion for our “baggage” and is the light in our dark journey. It is because He loves me so very well that I can love this little master of messes so much. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19)

So today I make a choice….hold a grudge and have an attitude against a little girl who is dealing with so much, or love her the way Jesus loves me…unconditionally, despite my flaws, with forgiveness, with compassion. Yes, I can do that! Yes, God gives me the ability to look past the mess to the masterpiece He created when He formed this precious child. What a gift He has given this family! What a precious treasure!

Help me today, Lord, to consider this gift. Help me to love as You do and to have the heart of compassion for others that You do for me. Give me a smile, Lord, when I feel like crying. Through You, I can conquer my frustrations. Through You, I can have compassion and understanding. Through You, I can love this little mess maker. Amen.

Motherhood

My Good and Perfect Gift

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By:  Betty Predmore

I was called into the principal’s office again the other morning. There was a field trip coming up, and my son’s teacher was worried that his behavior would somehow cause a problem. So here I was again, sitting there trying to keep my emotions under control, as I tried to make her understand that this little boy was not a mean boy, he was not out to cause problems, he was just a little boy who is the victim of his birth mother’s choices.

Fetal alcohol syndrome is no joke. It causes a lot of problems for the children who have to endure this physical disability that comes from exposure to alcohol in the womb. This little boy who has such a loving heart and such a generous nature sometimes struggles with how to handle his negative emotions.It takes him a little longer to process his thoughts and to consider the proper reaction to things. So sometimes his reactions are not appropriate. Sometimes his reactions are negative. Sometimes this happens at school. Does this make him a bad boy? Absolutely not!

I find myself repeatedly sitting in the principal’s office, repeatedly tried to explain that all he needs is a time out. All he needs are some extra minutes to gather his emotions and thoughts before he reacts. All he needs is some compassion and understanding. Am I asking for special treatment for my son? Absolutely! He is a special child with special needs, so I expect special treatment and consideration of those needs.

This child has taught me a lot. He has taught me about patience and understanding. He has taught me about compassion and revelation. He has taught me about love through the tough times. And he has taught me the importance of going to battle for our children and making sure their needs are met. I will continue to be his champion. I will continue to go to bat for him. I will continue to be his voice. God blessed me with this child, this unexpected gift that is so unique and wonderful. He is a treasure. He is sometimes disobedience, sometimes uncontrollable, sometimes frustrating, but he is always my child.

In this, as in everything else, God is teaching me and growing me. He is using this little boy who walked into my home as a two-year-old to remind me of the importance of compassion and understanding, and the need to appreciate the differences in people. He is reminding me that no struggle is too big when He is in the picture. He is assuring me that He is walking alongside this beautiful boy and paving his way. He is continually reminding me that I have been specially chosen to be this little guy’s mama, and he is my good and perfect gift!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow do to change. (James 1:17)