Getting Her “Normal” Back



By:  Betty Predmore

I sit here in this cold hospital room after a somewhat sleepless night, grateful that yesterday is behind me. My oldest daughter had surgery yesterday, the second in a series that will hopefully return her life back to “normal”. I am so weary of watching her suffer through the effects of Grave’s Disease….the changes in blood pressure and pulse rate, the rapid weight loss, the hair loss, the tremors, the eyes bulging from their sockets with a pressure so great it created a cornea problem and has minimized her eyesight significantly. I am tired of being a spectator on the sidelines in her game of life, not being able to help her move forward with all she envisioned for her future.

Five months ago, I sat in this same hospital with her as they removed her thyroid. This elimated most of those problems, but the eyesight remained an huge issue. I have sat by the last few months, watching as her sight has diminished to almost nothing. I have watched as she struggled to continue working, lost her ability to drive, and became reliant upon others for transportation. I have also been aware of how this has impacted her emotionally. So yesterday she had surgery. This procedure was meant to restore her bulging eyes back into the sockets correctly. She is bruised and swollen, and quite frightful looking at the moment, but the surgeon assures me all went well. So I sit here as she suffers through this pain, struggling to even open her eyes with such swollen and bruised eyelids. I know that the next several days are going to be beastly. But through it all, she is kind and polite to her caretakers, despite her pain.

This sets us up for the BIG ONE. The surgery (cornea transplant) that we hope will correct her vision. We are hopeful that this will take place in the next few months, after she heals from this surgery. This one will give her her “normal” back. This one will allow my little journalist to go off to the big world and fulfill her dreams. This is the one all our hopes are hanging on.

As I sit here, I am thanking my God for protecting her, for bringing her this far, and for being on this journey with me…every step of the way. I am thankful in my mama heart for the assuredness I have that He goes before us, preparing each of my daughter’s sweet steps before they are taken. I am so filled with gratitude that even though I know she is struggling, she is here. I feel like this is so hard, but I know it is nothing compared to the mamas in this world who have lost a child, who would give anything to be in my place right now. This morning I give thanks! “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Today I remember and reflect in James 1:17… “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,”. My sweet girl is my good gift from above. Thank you, Father, that you give so generously!