Motherhood

A Disobedient Helper

By Bethany L. Douglas
Original publication Nov 26, 2016

My boys are the best disobedient helpers ever! They have mastered it completely.
We put up Christmas at our house yesterday and my 4-year old was feverishly jumping between me and Gabe in an effort to “help” us decorate. Our ‘Little Napoleon’, as you’ve heard me call him, has an opinion on just about everything you can have an opinion on- regardless of whether he knows (or has even SEEN) what he’s talking about. But the child also likes to help, and is never short on advice (again, regardless of his experience on the subject). Despite that, he has a servant’s heart and he is a helper, though I think he likes the IDEA of helping much more than the actual helping.
Because more often than not, helping involves doing something I’ve told him to do- he has to do it MY way and obey ME. And many times, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds.
Take for instance, putting up the lights on the house. Jesse was ecstatic when I told him he could help his daddy put them up. I’m positive he was sure I meant that he would be on the ladder, putting up each light in just exactly the places he thought they should go. I’m also equally positive that standing next to daddy on the ladder while holding a string of lights off the ground was NOT his idea of helping.
But it WAS helping… or at least it would have been helpful…
As with most 4-year olds, his version of helping lasted all of about 2 minutes, at which point he dropped the lights and proceeded to complain that I wouldn’t let him help.
“Mommy I want to HELP!” (strong emphasis on the HEEEELLLLPPP!)
“Jesse, if you want to help mommy, you have to do what I ask you to do. I already gave you a job.”
“But I’m helping NOW,” he stated as he gently dumped over an entire box of lights onto the ground. “I’m going to help daddy put these up!”
Not. Helpful.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself telling my children that if they want to help, they have to DO what I tell them to DO. THAT is the most helpful thing to me. It does me no good to tell them to clean their toy room and I find they have made their beds instead. It’s nice, it’s great they did that…. but that’s not doing what I told and needed them to do.
It’s not helpful.
It’s disobedience.
Or if they want to help me with cooking, but won’t follow the instructions- again, not helpful. Helping involves following someone else’s orders. It assumes a certain humility during the act of service. Putting aside one’s own prerogatives and following another’s commands is innate to being an obedient helper… and therefore a USEFUL helper.
I imagine God is no different. If He tells me to do something and I don’t, even if I do something else righteous or good or noble in it’s place- I’m still being disobedient. And I’m not being helpful to anyone at that point. God cannot use people that refuse to obey what He wants them to do, regardless of how much they may want to ‘help’.
Part of what I’m trying to teach my kids is that HELPING involves OBEYING. That’s a hard-fought lesson from me, and no less a hard-fought lesson FOR me.
I’m sure it’s no coincidence that every.single.time I have to tell them, “If you want to help me, please just do what I ask!” God’s voice echoes back in my ears. Ugh! Raising kids shines so much light on my own walk! Funny how that works….
Search your actions today dear one, are you walking in obedience?
Are you being a useful helper?

Thank you for taking the time to read my heart today. Please comment below with thoughts and ruminations of where your walk is today. Please share and follow if this blesses you!

To read more from Bethany, visit her at http://www.helicoptermom.org/

 

 

Motherhood

Peetunias

By Sherry Clair

The typical infant can use up to 2,500 diapers in one year. That number will continue to decrease as baby grows into a toddler. Not soon enough for some of us. While potty training can be stressful for both parent and child, it brings with it a sense of pride, success and a variety of messy and embarrassing experiences. I have learned to take a “poop happens” approach, which means; poop will probably happen on the floor, in the car or the neighbors yard. There isn’t much you can do about it, except walk around following your potty training toddler with puppy pads, or a bucket, and then blog about mishaps later….

After an extended car ride to visit a friend in the hospital, Peanut was complaining about needing to go potty. We pulled into the parking lot and I assured her that once we got inside the building she could go potty. I proceeded to gather up brother, all necessary items and cram them into the stroller. This took much longer than usual, since Peanut was doing the peepee dance in the parking lot and I had to stop and pull up her pants and panties twice, explaining that we don’t just drop trow wherever we please.

With both kids fully clothed and in the stroller I rushed to the building. Daughter immediately jumped from the stroller and pointed at the big potted plant in the corner of the foyer and asked what that was. I hastily and distractedly whispered the answer to her and turned to the receptionist to ask for directions. Before she could complete the instructions she gasped and looked down to my left side. Thinking there might be a serious situation I turned immediately ready to assist where needed. I was alarmed to see my daughter with Minnie Mouse panties down around her sandals sitting in the potted plant relieving herself.

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The thoughts rushed through my head. How exactly do I handle this? If I get her out of the floral arrangement she will undoubtedly peepee on the floor. But, I can’t really leave her there can I? Oh, my, gosh! What if she’s doing more than number 1? Is her face turning red, I can’t tell if she is smiling or pooping!

I rushed over, hoping to safe the lovely soiled flowers, and scooped her out of the “pottied” plant. I dusted her itty bitty butt off , thinking about what I was supposed to do and glancing frantically for a bucket to scoop the peepeed potting soil into. I adjusted her shorts and opened my mouth. (Let me explain to you, I’m not super great in situations like this. More often than not, what comes out of my mouth is just as much of a surprise to me as those whom I’m saying it too. Often when faced with with uncomfortable situation, I attempt to find the silver lining.)

“I am so very sorry, I ummm, well, ummm, hey, you know at least you don’t have to water it now” I babbled. The grim set line on the now less than helpful lady’s face was all I needed to know that she was less than thrilled with our plant care procedures. She hastily waved me away when I offered to help clean up, probably fearful that my daughter might get the urge to find another “pot”. As we quickly walked down the hall, Abi looked up at me, unconcerned and said, “Hey mommy, those flowers smelled really good, we should put some on our potty.”

Read more of Sherry’s blogs at https://chroniclesofmommy.net/

Motherhood

The Great Healer

image.jpegBy Betty Predmore

I stumbled down the stairs this morning, barely able to see out of my watery eyes, and coughing with each step I took.

The last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed, but the kids needed to get ready for school…and that is just what a mama does.

I roused them out of their slumber and headed for the couch, where my new fuzzy blanket awaited me. I curled up in that blanket and proceeded to cough my way through the next hour.

My kids aren’t used to mama being out of commission. They have hovered over me, checking on me, asking how I was feeling.

My teenager even wrapped her arms around me last night and told me she loved me. (Yes, I actually have to get sick for that to happen!).

I guess kids think of their parents as strong and invincible, not sick and in need of rest. But we DO need rest.

We DO need times of refreshing, times to just sit and be still in the presence of our Savior and feel the Holy Spirit wash over us. And that is OKAY.

When we think that we are invincible, that we can fight through our sick days and our weary hours, we need to remember that even our Almighty God rested.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And in the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.” (Genesis 2:1-2.)

God had done the work he set out to do, and so he allowed himself to rest.

Do you allow yourself to rest? Or do you keep pushing through, trying to prove to yourself, and maybe others, that you are invincible?

As Jesus was walking this earth, preaching and teaching, he also sought out times of rest.

But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” (Luke 5:16).

Jesus sought out those empty places to go and rest, to be still before his Father and have his soul restored.

Are you making time to be still before your Father in Heaven and have your soul restored?

Being a mama is a lot of work. It takes a rested, healthy heart and soul.

If that means you curl up with your soft fuzzy blanket and let the day pass by while you regain some energy, then do so.

If that means you find a quiet place and sit in peaceful stillness before Him, then do so.

God is waiting to soothe our aches and comfort our hearts. He is waiting for us to come to Him and pour out what is troubling us, either physically or spiritually.

He wants to heal sick hearts and He wants to heal sick bodies. If you are physically ill or spiritually unwell, I encourage you to seek the Great Healer today.

You may not be able to reach out and touch his cloak, but you can come before him in confidence. He will hear you and heal you. He will give you the energy you need to be the mama He calls you to be.

Motherhood

The Sad Chair

image.jpegBy Diana Manley RockwelL

As a discussion leader for bible study, I attended a leader’s meeting and class. My son Dale accompanied and attended class just as I did each week. The Children Leaders sing and teach the children the same story that the women learn, but they had the challenge of sometimes having to discipline the children. Dale spent time in the “sad chair” because it made the leaders sad when the child had to be in the chair and not with the other children.
We lived on a cul-de-sac at the top of a hill. The house was situated such that the lawn overlooked the avocado trees. We had one-half acre of land and the trees were in front of our house, with one tree situated at the top of the landing next to our driveway. We had a rule at the house that if one was playing in the front yard, one was not to go past the large beautiful avocado tree.
I liked the “sad chair” for discipline and one knew no toys were allowed while in the sad chair, which was a short length of time, Dale was four so he would be in the “sad chair” for four minutes under close supervision. Sometimes those were the longest four minutes. One day, we were out front and I had to go into the house for something and when I came back out of the house Dale was at the end of our steep driveway near the mailbox. He now needed to be disciplined.
Disciplining children is difficult. Sometimes I wish there was a manual that came with a child, “turn to page 6 if this happens.” If I was angry, I gave myself a time out. I made many mistakes. We read in Hebrews 12:10-11, “Our fathers disciplined us for a short time as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Beloved, are you trapped in sin-confess-sin-confess? God gave us 1 John 1: 9, the verse reads, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Mine was gluttony, maybe yours is anger, jealousy, overspending, whatever it is there is forgiveness. We do not have to sin.
That beautiful sunny day Dale was down at the mailbox, I yelled his formal name, “Dale Alan Rockwell, you are not supposed to go past the avocado tree!” But before I could say another word, he says, “Please! Mama, don’t put me in the ‘sad chair’!”
Although we may suffer the consequences of our choices. God’s discipline yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it. Psalm 103:12 says if we ask for forgiveness, he forgives as far as the east is from the west. Remember we do not have to be in the sad chair according to 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Motherhood

“I Want My Mom!”

 

image.jpegBy:  Tricia Kaiser

Yesterday morning I had a Biopsy done on my uterus. I was fine up until I had to lay on the table. I got scared and I panicked. I started to cry and said, “I want my Mom!” Yes, I did. You’re never told old to need your Mom. Unfortunately, my Mom lives in Tennessee and couldn’t be here, but they did go out and get my husband and he held my hand the whole time.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself because my Mom wasn’t here, but it certainly reminded me of what a significant role she plays with my heart.

I have quite a few friends that have lost their Moms recently and it breaks my heart, especially with the holidays approaching. I just want you to know that I’m keeping each one of you lifted up in prayer. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m your girl ❤️

Motherhood

Guiding Her Steps

imageBy:  Betty Predmore

It’s funny how conversation can remind you of scripture that is stored in your heart. I was walking with my oldest daughter the other day. We were at a college softball game, in a stadium we had never been in before, basically in unchartered territory. Looking for the restrooms, we had to go down a flight of stairs to the lower level. My daughter was close in my heels, following me. She said to me, “ Mom, just go and wherever you go, I will follow.” Of course, that reminded me of Ruth 1:16….But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.”

I knew what my daughter was saying to me by making that statement. About two years ago, she was diagnosed with Grave’s disease. She has suffered many of the side effects, including decreased vision. Her remark to me was a literal one. She really needed to follow in my footsteps because she was have trouble navigating her way through the stadium. She was depending on me to guide her safely to the restroom and back, and help her not to stumble. Isn’t that what we do as mothers? We guide and protect our children. When they take those first shaky steps, we are there to catch them if they fall. When they start to run, we are there to grab them before they run into the street. When they hop on the bicycles, we are holding onto the back of that seat until we are certain they can ride alone. There is so much physical guidance that we give our children.

But I also ponder on the spiritual guidance. Are they following us in their walk with Christ? That scripture in the book of Ruth goes on to say “”Whom you serve I will serve.” Are you serving Christ? Are your children following you in that mission? Do they have love for their Savior, compassionate hearts for those in need, and an excitement for the gospel? Are they being guided by the Holy Spirit? Do they see you allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your life? He is so gracious to guide our steps, bring us through the struggles, and lead us to our blessings. What a wonderful Savior we have! What a marvelous example to follow!

We want to be there to meet the physical needs of our children. We want to be there to guide them when they are lost and protect them from harm. But we also need to be there for their souls, protecting their hearts from the enemy. We need to urgently plea for them to follow…to follow us as we follow Christ. Where we go, they should go, and Whom we serve they should serve. I pray that my sweet daughter will not only follow my lead as I guide her down a flight of stairs, but will also follow my lead as she walks through life. I pray she reaches out and takes my hand when she is uncertain of her physical steps, and that she reaches out and takes the hand of Christ when she is uncertain of her life’s direction. I pray that my words and actions always direct her to the Cross.

Lord, help us to lead as You would lead. And give our children the wisdom to follow not only us, but more importantly, You.

Motherhood

He is Watching

imageBy:  Betty Predmore

Have you ever told your children to watch out because Mama has eyes in the back of her head? Or that everywhere they go, and everything they do, you will find out? How about this one… “I may not see you, but God will, and He will know if you are being bad.” Most of us have used those words, or similar ones, in an effort to get our children to behave, do what is right, and stay safe. There is just something about the idea of someone in authority seeing our bad behavior that makes us think twice.

Proverbs 15:3 reminds us, “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” That applies to our children. But guess what, my sweet mamas? It applies to us as well! God is everywhere. He is watching. He sees you when you lose your patience with your child. He sees you when you roll through that stop sign. He sees you when you pass that hungry beggar on the street. He sees you when you inwardly groan as your “not so favorite” someone approaches you. He sees you in your anger. He gets a ring-side seat to your gossip. He is there when you are feeling hopeless, discouraged , or inadequate. He sees it all.

But the good news is, that He sees it ALL! So He also sees the love and nurturing you pour out on your children. He is aware of your compassion for others. He notices each and every time you share the love of Christ with someone who needs to hear. He has his eyes on you as you speak life into others, bring laughter into sad hearts, and share a smile. He is watching in your times of complete obedience to His word. He is right there with his eyes open as you teach your children about Jesus, show them right from wrong, and guide them through their struggles. He is there as you share the blessing of your time, your energy, and your joy.

“”The eyes of the Lord are everywhere.” He is watching us, mamas. He is watching us just like we are watching our children. That is what a Father does.

Motherhood

This Land

imageBY:  Betty Predmore
My mind is experiencing relief this morning that our election process is over. I don’t know who you voted for, or what your reasoning was behind your vote. That is the beauty of our country….we all have the opportunity to make our own choice, and we should each be respected for doing so. Some are thrilled this morning. Some are deeply saddened. There are some that are as indifferent today as they have been throughout this whole process. Regardless, it is done, and for that I am relieved.

The way I see it, my God is greater than any candidate. He is greater than any governmental policy or mandate. He is greater than any regulation or political party. HE is the Creator of this universe. HE is the master of this world. That is my source of relief. I am a mother. I am concerned about the future of my children. Obviously, I want the very best for them. I want them to have a future where they can experience freedoms. I want a future for them where their life matters. I hope for a future for them where they have opportunities to better themselves, achieve their dreams, and find success. Most importantly, I hope for them a future where they can have the freedom to love and serve the Savior of this world. My hopes for them are great. But my hopes for them are no greater than the hopes and plans that God has for them..”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). God is working. He is in the midst of our concerns and indecisiveness. He is in the middle of our debates and critical thoughts. He is in the middle of our efforts to make our country a better place. I am so grateful that my Father in Heaven will not fail me, and will not fail my children, no matter what happens in this world.

I am reminded of a song I used to love to sing as a child:
”This land is your land, this land is my land, this land was made for you and me.”

God made this land for you and for me, and for our children and the generations to come. Thank you Jesus that election results are not nearly as important as this simple fact….YOU ARE MY KING!

Motherhood

The Heart of the Matter

By:  Nicole Espino

Have you ever felt lost when it comes to parenting, that feeling of helplessness that consumes your mind and heart? I know I have, especially when I think about the enormous task of raising and shaping a child, not only behaviorally but spiritually, emotionally, and even their very character and morals. The responsibility of a parent bares a lot of weight, yet too few parents have the tools and knowledge they need to help them on their journey of parenting.

Many of us don’t understand our own selves let alone understanding these tiny human beings. Many parents parent the same way they were parented, we often use the phrase, “Well, when I was your age my parents…”. But did our parents have all the answers? Is there a right way to approach parenting that God has designed or are we left down here to figure each kid out on our own? We know each kid is different and learns differently, but is there one core approach and goal that applies to all of us?

I believe there is, and I strongly believe God hasn’t left us to fend for ourselves. I believe that everything a parent needs to know has been placed in God’s inspired word. And who better to go to than the One who designed us and created each of us in our Mother’s womb?

In Psalms 139: 13,14 it says:

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

So what is that key element that all parents must know and apply to their parenting? Well, I believe the key element is first understanding Proverbs 4:23, it says:

Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

Everything that comes from our lives starts first in our hearts.

So what should our focus be as parents? Should it be punishing behavior, or building self esteem? No, I believe the core element of good parenting is guiding a child’s heart. Our hearts motivate what we think about, and what ultimately we choose to do in our life whether right or wrong. But what do we know about our hearts? What does the Bible say about our hearts?

In Jeremiah 17:9 it says:
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

Yikes!! Im sure you’re thinking, “How is that helpful?” But thankfully we find the helpful bit in verse 10 which says,

10 But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives.

So first off, we see that our hearts are deceitful, which is just another way of saying that our hearts lie to us. If you had to depend on your heart to tell you the truth of a matter, it most likely would not. So we realize that we can’t always trust our hearts to tell us how to live our lives. When we base our decisions upon what our hearts tell us, well, that’s when we can get into trouble. So, Secondly, we see in verse 10 that God know our hearts, He can see things that we can’t, He can search and sort out what’s in our hearts.

So what does this all mean for me as a parent, you might ask? Well, to keep it simple, we cannot hope to know our own hearts, let alone our child’s heart without being intimately connected to the one who formed our hearts. We as parents MUST be seeking God to reveal to us details within each of our child’s hearts. This is done through observation, through a lot of prayer, and through knowing God’s word. Unless we bring God into the parenting process, we will never truly know or understand how to personally shape each child’s heart.

So if Proverbs 4:23 is correct and all the issues of life come from our hearts, then the only reasonable conclusion is to realize that a child’s very behavior starts in their heart. So when seeking God about a certain behavior that needs to be shaped, God will take us directly to the heart of the matter. We may be able to stop a behavior through other means but it’s only a temporary fix unless the issue within the heart is addressed. We must have God reveal to us what the specific issue is, wether it be selfishness, rebellion, or even fear. Then we must go to God’s word and learn what God teaches about those things and pray and ask God to show us how to teach our child about those specific issues. Gods word is powerful even in our children and we should never think it’s too above their heads.

So, let’s wrap this up. First we must seek God for understanding, and pray for wisdom to understand our children. Secondly, we must search the scriptures and know what God teaches about the specific issues our child is dealing with. Then we are to help communicate or guide our kids into these truths to help them be rooted and grounded in the truth of Gods word rather than the lies within their hearts.

I truly believe this is a core aspect to parenting, no matter your view on method, we must allow God into the process and let him lead and guide us as parents.

A great book to read on this subject is, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp. I highly recommend it. It changed my whole outlook and game plan on parenting.

I hope this was as helpful for you as it was for me.

Motherhood

Invite Jesus to Join You

imageBy:  Diana Rockwell

Roller skating with Randy my oldest son, we live at the top of a cul-de-sac at the top of a steep hill. Our drive way has a good size parking area in front of the garage. Dale, my five-years-old, decides to ride his skate board and not his roller skates. The mail box at the bottom of our driveway: the rule to stop the skateboard and come back up to the top of the driveway and start over. Randy shows his skating ability and skates to the bottom, and Dale races him several times. Giggling we share such a fun time until Dale picks up his feet and at the mail box he gives himself another push and down the hill he goes. Oh No! What’s a mom to do,? I’m in skates and he is flying down the hill in danger! I am scared to death something is going to happen to my son.
Jesus sends the disciples off in a boat, there’s much wind and Peter takes his eyes off Jesus in Matthew 14. They had witnessed the feeding of the five thousand, they had picked up the left over bread and filled twelve baskets. They are scared. The disciples were reluctant to participate in this miracle. If you remember this story, the people following Jesus, Jesus saw the people and had compassion on them. The disciples wanted to just let them go to their homes, but Jesus said, “No way! What resources do we have?” One little boy came prepared with his lunch. Five loaves of bread, two fishes.” Beloved, these were not huge mackerel fish. They were small fish like trout. Jesus had a plan. He has them sit down and He prays, blesses the food and the food feeds more than the five thousand because there were women and children.
But the disciples still did not understand the miracle of feeding of the five thousand, so when Jesus comes walking to them in the windy night they think he is a ghost, they are afraid. Peter gets out of the boat to walk to Jesus on the water but he takes his eyes off Jesus and he sinks. The disciples needed to invite Jesus in the boat, then they begin to absorb and recognize Jesus for who he as the Son of God.
Praying for Dale’s safety and struggling to get my roller skates off, Randy had his off, he is three-years-older than Dale and he ran down the hill ahead of me. Dale managed to make it down the hill without being hit by a car. Of course, I’m relieved that Dale is safe hugs and kisses came before the lecture.
Beloved, what problem do you need to invite Jesus to join you? Are you a single mom raising your children on your own? Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you raising a special needs child?
Father God, let us never forget to include you in our struggles. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Diana Rockwell